Lover | Mama |Sister | Author | Teacher | Seeker |Speaker | Meditator | Happiness Advocate | Mental Wellness Warrior |

 

 

Terri Cole

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss—The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free. For over two decades, she has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.

Terri has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 250,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see www.terricole.com

My 10 Best

(Roughly in chronological order)

The Secret
by Rhonda Byrne

 

The Secret confirmed in a real way my belief that the thoughts I held in my mind and the feelings I held in my body had actual creative power. It profoundly impacted my drive to be mindfully aware of what was taking up space in my mind.

The Road Less Traveled
by M. Scott Peck

 

This was one of my very first self-help book experiences and I loved it! I adopted the mindset that nothing about my life, upbringing or past had the power to dictate my future. He describes life as us being dealt a hand of cards at birth but that we could decide we want different cards or we could create an entirely new game (which is what I did). I was just out of college when I read it (1986) and this book gave me permission and a map on how to be self-determined.

Seven Spiritual Laws of Success
by Deepak Chopra

 

I did not read this book until the late ’90s. Each one of these laws spoke to me deeply:
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success are:

1. The Law of Pure Potentiality,
2. The Law of Giving,
3. The Law of Karma,
4. The Law of Least Effort,
5. The Law of Intention and Desire,
6. The Law of Detachment, and
7. The Law of Dharma.

So much so that my husband and I started studying with Deepak Chopra and his partner at the Chopra Center, David Simon, around 2004 and continued

for the next 15 years. Now we study with our pal that we met at the Chopra Center when he was running their education program, davidji.

Destressifying
by Davidji

 

By the time this book came out I had already been studying with davidji for a number of years. Going on week-long meditation retreats in California and I became a Certified
Meditation and Vedic Wisdom Teacher through his program. I have multiple meditation CDs out because of how much learning to meditate from davidji at the Chopra Center changed my life. I wanted all of my therapy clients to

gain the internal peace and spaciousness that I had which would, in turn, support our therapeutic process. So I became a meditation teacher and turned many clients onto this way of life.

The 4 Agreements
by Don Miguel Ruiz

The simple premise in this book was life-altering for me. I was struggling to overcome my codependency in therapy and one of the 4 agreements is to not take anything personally (which for a codependent is quite a challenge!) but it spoke to me in a way that allowed me to really get that others were seeing all of life and our interactions through the lens of their own experience.

The Dance of Anger
by Harriet Lerner

 

Harriet Lerner’s work has profoundly impacted my life and my work as a clinician. I grew up in a family where anger was a, ‘forbidden emotion.’ From this book, I learned that anger is a sign, a signal, or a warning that is valuable and normal. I learned to understand my and allow my anger. To listen to its wisdom and allow me to feel, process, and honor it. This lessened the need for passive-aggressive expression of anger. The less I feared, ignored, and denied my own anger the more authentic I became about my preferences, desires, limits, and deal-breakers.

Desire Map
by Danielle LaPorte

 

This book amplified my ability to create, “goals with soul” as Danielle would say. She teaches us to identify our top 3-5 core desired feelings and then to use those feelings as a decision-making bar. Will this job/relationship/trip/venture create more or less of my core desired feelings? My top core desired feeling is and has always been FREEDOM. For me, this brilliant book took all of the guessing out of the next right actions as I could always check in with my feelings and tap into the right answer for me. (I wish I had known about this as I was climbing the entertainment ladder in my 20’s! I kept thinking, I will feel satisfied after this next famous client signs with me or when I am making XXX amount of $ or when I am running an agency. I would get to that next goal and still…I did not feel the way I hoped I would, which is why I left entertainment in my early 30’s to become a psychotherapist.

The Prophet
by Kahill Gibran

 

My mother had a copy of this book and I did not read it until I had become a parent myself by marrying a widower and 3 teenage sons in 1997. One of my fave poems about parenting of all time is in this book:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Daring Greatly
by Brené Brown 

 

I came to this book a few years ago and fell in love with the social worker, researcher, PhD, and human behavior pioneer Brene Brown and her brilliant mind. She had an original frame of the power of vulnerability and the research to back up her hypothesis that people with healthy boundaries and the capacity for vulnerability or “wholehearted” people as she named them are indeed the happiest and most emotionally resilient. “Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.”

Creating Affluence
by Deepak Chopra

 

I carry a copy of this book with me and read it all the time. I just open to any page and get a hit of inspired truth from one of my fave minds in this lifetime. According to Deepak, “Affluence is our natural state, and the entire physical universe with all its abundance is the offspring of an unbounded, limitless field of all possibilities. Through a series of A-to-Z steps and everyday actions, we can learn to tap into this field and create anything we desire.” Again, this book reaffirms my belief that the universe is always conspiring in my favor if I work to stay mindful and present to these universal truths.